So listening is important because: Good listening allows us to demonstrate that we are paying attention to the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of the other person (seeing the world through their eyes). This is crucial to maintaining productive relationships, and sometimes the only way to establish communication.

The hearing is nothing but a sense that helps you receive sound waves and noise by ears. It is the power of perceiving sounds. On the contrary, listening is when you receive the sound waves and understand it by paying full attention to the words and sentences of the speaker.

Hearing is much easier than listening because hearing is an involuntary physical ability involving the ears. No conscious effort is required. As one of the five senses, hearing happens all the time and is the involuntary receiving of sound vibrations or waves through our ears.

We use hear for sounds that come to our ears, without us necessarily trying to hear them! For example, ‘They heard a strange noise in the middle of the night. ‘ Listen is used to describe paying attention to sounds that are going on.

Listening is different than hearing because it involves much more than the reception of sound by the ear. Instead, listening is an active process where the ear receives information and the brain processes it in ways that make it understandable and utilized by the listener and ultimately the sender of the information.

The listening process. The listening process involves four stages: receiving, understanding, evaluating, and responding.

Author Joseph DeVito has divided the listening process into five stages: receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding (DeVito, 2000).

The listening process involve six stages: hearing, selecting, attending, understanding, evaluating and remembering.

There are four levels of listening: being an attentive presence, clarifying and interpreting meaning, providing empathy and acting generatively.

There are three steps to Practical Listening: Intention, Attention and Retention. Let’s spend a moment exploring each of these elements.

In our experience, most people think good listening comes down to doing three things:

• Not talking when others are speaking.
• Letting others know you’re listening through facial expressions and verbal sounds (“Mmm-hmm”)
• Being able to repeat what others have said, practically word-for-word.

Five ways to improve your listening skills

1. Face the speaker and give them your attention. It is difficult to talk to someone who is constantly looking around.
2. Keep an open mind. Do not judge or mentally criticize what the speaker is telling you.
3. Active listening.
4. Just listen!

Follow these steps to reduce listening barriers at work:

1. Minimize distractions.
2. Prioritize listening over speaking.
3. Reduce outside noise.
4. Practice reflecting instead of deflecting.
5. Ask questions.
6. Listen fully before giving advice.

Five ways to listen better:

• Be silent. Spend three minutes a day in silence.
• Hear. Listen to the individual sounds that contribute to the mix of sounds in a noisy place.
• Savor. Find the joy in mundane sounds; they can be really interesting.
• Adjust.
• RASA.

Becoming an Attentive Listener

1. Focus on the speaker. Really, really pay attention to what the speaker is saying.
2. Don’t interrupt.
3. Listen for key messages.
4. Show that you are listening.
5. Do your research.
6. Ask smart questions.
7. Be prepared.

Interrupting is typically a rude thing to do. In fact, most of the time interrupting a conversation or disturbing someone when they’re talking isn’t recommended, but there are situations that call for speaking up. There are ways to interrupt that aren’t quite so rude or disruptive.

“A chronic interrupter is often someone who is super-smart and whose brain is working much faster than the other people in the room. They want to keep everything moving at a faster clip, so often they will interrupt to make that happen,” says executive coach Beth Banks Cohn.

When you need to end a conversation

1. I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you but I have to be at work for a meeting shortly and must *get going*. It was wonderful to see you. Have a nice day.
2. Oh! Sorry to interrupt but I just noticed the time and I need to get to work. I’m very sorry.

Primary Care

1. Excuse yourself. Acknowledge you are making an interruption.
2. Empathize. Let the patient know you’ve heard his or her complaints. This demonstrates respect and understanding.
3. Explain. Let the patient know your reason for interrupting.

Avoid these common mistakes for best results.

• “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is a popular but totally ineffective statement that should never be part of any apology.
• “I’m sorry you believe/think that…” This is not an apology.
• “I’m sorry I did X, but…” As soon as you say “but,” you’re negating the entire apology (e.

Apology Process

1. Admit to yourself that you were wrong.
2. Admit your mistake to the other person.
3. Say you are sorry.
4. Don’t make excuses.
5. Smooth over the situation with kind words.
6. Replace broken or stolen items.
7. Don’t push or expect too much too soon.
8. It’s been a long time.

A true apology keeps the focus on your actions—and not on the other person’s response. For example, “I’m sorry that you felt hurt by what I said at the party last night,” is not an apology. Try instead, “I’m sorry about what I said at the party last night.

A humble apology is one in which you admit wrongdoing—“I’m sorry I lost my temper”—showing that you’re not above reflecting on your own flaws.

Before accepting an apology, you first have to determine if it’s genuine.

1. A statement that contains a “but” (“I’m sorry, but…”) invalidates the apology.
2. Similarly, “if” (“I’m sorry if…”) suggests that your hurt may not have happened.
3. Vague wording (“for what happened”) fails to take personal responsibility.