10 Things Not to Say to Your Adopted Children

Generally, the birth parents will have legal rights up to the point the court, agency or private party finalizes the adoption. After this, these individuals have few if any rights because the state terminates custody and visitation rights.

There isn’t a right time to tell your child that they are adopted but its best to tell them as early as possible. This is to avoid them learning about their adoption from anyone else, or feeling that their adoption is a bad thing.

• You don’t need to mention how ‘different’ your adopted child looks from the rest of the family.
• Don’t try to hide the fact that your child is adopted.
• Don’t keep secrets.
• Don’t wait to tell them they are adopted when they are older.
• Don’t tell them ‘you wouldn’t understand because you’re different than us’.

Negative Effects of Adoption on Adoptees

• Struggles with low self-esteem.
• Identity issues, or feeling unsure of where they ‘fit in’
• Difficulty forming emotional attachments.
• A sense of grief or loss related to their birth family.

There isn’t a right or wrong age to tell kids the truth. Instead, take cues from them and their understanding of the world. Usually, somewhere between the ages of five and seven kids begin to think a little more critically.

The truth is Santa Claus is based on the very real Saint Nicholas and… ‘Saint Nicholas of Myra, also known as Nicholas of Bari, was an early Christian bishop of the ancient Greek maritime city of Myra in Asia Minor during the time of the Roman Empire.

“It’s not an overnight shift in thinking,” says Laura Lamminen, Ph. D., pediatric psychologist at Children’s Health℠, “and there’s no set age where children should know the truth about Santa Claus.” Dr. Lamminen says each family, and each child within that family, will be ready to talk about Santa at different ages.

Is it OK to lie to your kids about Santa Claus? Research shows that the vast majority of American parents promote a false belief in Santa Claus, and most small children accept that story as real. In fact, research shows that most parents work very hard to perpetuate the myth of Santa.

Coulson’s advice, “I would suggest letting your child believe in Santa when they’re young and when they first start asking questions, encourage them to think about it critically.” He makes an excellent point, “No child is going to hate Christmas if you let them figure out the truth on their own.

Parents more relaxed Parents are more likely to have stricter rules for their firstborn children for everything from watching TV to curfews to jumping on the bed. Parents are much more likely to be actively involved in their firstborn child’s academic performance, according to the survey.

So instead of asking why your parents are thinking that they are always right , think that everybody has different mindset and thinks from a different perspective . So if they say something just hear that out. Parents don’t think they have to be right all the time. We can and do make mistakes.

This where things get crucial.

1. Repeat back what your parents are saying, in front of them, in your own words.
2. Ask your own questions about what they’re telling.
3. Tell them why you don’t think what they’re saying is right.
4. If they still refuse to consider, show them the consequences.

Originally Answered: Why is it hard for parents to admit that they’re wrong? It’s because an egotistical parent wants to hold on to the authoritarian figure that they hold. However admitting your wrong in your child’s eye will gain you respect from an understanding child.

ARGUING IS RESPECTFUL. Sometimes parents consider adolescent arguing as “talking back” to adults and being disrespectful – questioning what elders say when silence submission is the approved way to go. Actually, arguing with parents is a sign of respect. Disrespect would be totally ignoring what parents have to say.

PTSD develops when parents are constantly fighting with one another, day in and day out. PTSD develops as parents become dysfunctional. The home is no longer working as in the past. Parents who are divorcing are not always able to think as clearly as they did prior to making the decision to divorce.

Why do I cry when people yell at me? It is normal in the sense that we have all experienced being overwhelmed or angry and yelling as the only way to express frustration and anger. When we feel we are not in control of the situation or feel hopeless about the outcome then we tend to cry.

While in most situations your intervention isn’t appropriate, some extreme circumstances may warrant it. “There are appropriate times to intervene,” says Piña. “It’s very rare, but if an argument is turning into a situation of abuse, it’s important to intervene. Abuse can be verbal — like name calling.

Most of the time, parents can disagree with each other and still manage to talk about it calmly. When parents argue, it’s normal for teens to worry. When parents yell, young people feel afraid, sad, and upset. Sometimes arguments use silence — when parents express their anger at each other by not speaking.

If your parents fight everyday, something is seriously wrong between them. No, but it’s normal for UNHAPPY parents to fight a lot. Generally they are unhappy with each other, or their relationship, and that means they need to go see a therapist to get some help to resolve whatever the problem is.

If you feel threatened or that one of your parents will seriously hurt the other, you should call the police. Arrest either one or both of your parents on a charge of domestic violence (a very serious charge) or disturbing the peace (a very minor charge) or something in between. Those are some of the possible outcomes.

With that said, it is legal to call the police here on your mother, however, the reason why is extremely important as well as your age at the time of calling/wanting to call/need to call. Yes you actually can. She can be held for up to 72 hours if you believe she is a threat to herself, as in suicidal.

How to deal with your parents fighting all the time

1. Create some boundaries. Remember that you’re not responsible for your parents’ conflict and it’s not your job to ‘fix’ it for them.
2. Create your own safe space.
3. Do something that makes you feel good.
4. Go somewhere else.
5. Talk to someone about it.
6. What if home isn’t safe anymore?

Parents fight for different reasons. Maybe they had a bad day at work, or they’re not feeling well, or they’re really tired. Just like kids, when parents aren’t feeling their best, they can get upset and might be more likely to argue.

9 Signs You Might Have a Toxic Father, from Playing the Victim to Comparing You and Your Siblings

• 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father.
• He compares you to your siblings.
• He doesn’t respect boundaries.
• He insists on being right.
• You feel exhausted after spending time or speaking with him.
• He consistently plays the victim.

So if you think you might have a toxic relationship with your mother, then read on for six of the most common signs.

1. She Dismisses Your Negative Feelings.
2. She Thinks That You’re Responsible For Her Happiness.
3. She Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries.
4. She Can’t Deal With Not Being In The Spotlight.
5. She’s Cruel.

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Young people whose parents tend to fight with each other or are over involved in their kids’ lives are at increased risk of depression and anxiety, according to a new comprehensive review of past studies.